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This School Lunch Sucks



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There was some sort of dance for the local service club my father belonged to (and their spouses, girlfriends, etc.) held in the school cafeteria.  Both my parents ended up attending - and I was drafted to work at it. I ended up being in charge of the food, which involved a rather large 8 foot sandwich.

I remember, although it has nothing to do with the story, some absolutely incredible looking blonde (damn she had a body on her!) - dumber than any stump I've ever come across!  Throw a couple drinks in her, crank up the tunes and she was better than the $0.25 pony ride at Kmart!  If she didn't end up sucking somebody's cock that night, I'd be surprised.  She was just about the dumbest broad I've ever seen. She took this can of spray string, drunk off her ass, and her first squirt of the stuff landed, and bonded to someone's eye.  I nearly fell over laughing!  It went like this:

"Oh a can of spray string!"
*** Ssssssshhhhhhpppplllleeeetttt ***
"OooooooooWWWWwwwwww my EYE!"

Whoever it was was runnin' around like a nutcase with this silly string attached and hanging from their eye! I was peeing my pants!

Anyway, a friend of mine shows up - he and I were known to be troublemakers together... <grin>

We were soon bored with the food and the drunk blonde, so we retired to checking out the school lunchlady's kitchen, which was unlocked for the use of the club to store cups, etc. The first thing we noticed was that the container that held all the snacks was not locked up but was just innocently sitting there on top of a cabinet or refrigerator (well, it was atop something). Nothing a chair couldn't fix. Before you know it, we snarfed down all the snacks. Ooops. But hey, they did leave them out for us to eat, right? If they didn't want us to eat them, they would've locked em up!

So then, trying to keep the boredom from settling in, we notice the Monday's menu - it was one of those signs that had plastic letters on it that stuck into the grooves. You could rearrange the letters each day to make up a new daily menu.  Weeeeeelllll, isn't this special?  Hmmmm. <evil grin>  Monday's menu was about to change in a bad, bad way.

Needless to say, we rearranged the letters to create an interesting Monday lunch menu, headed "This School Lunch Sucks."  The exact words escape me, but I will say that it looked damn nice on the photocopy I was shown on Monday morning in the Principal's office! I don't think we put anything too vulgar on it (like I would in this day and age <grin>).

I think the menu has items on it like:

"Day Old Pizza"
"Ground Rat Burgers"
"French Flies"

You get the idea...

 
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